This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everbody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. These four "people" live at my house, do they live at yours too?

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!" The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?". Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field. Getting over his initial shock he said to himself, "Ah, young love... ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers... C'est magnifique!" and continued to watch, remembering good times. Suddenly he drew in a gasp and said, "Mais... Sacre bleu! Ze woman - she is dead!" and he hurried along as fast as he could to the town to tell Jean, the police chief. He came, out of breath, to the police station and shouted, "Jean...Jean zere is zis man, zis woman ... naked in farmer Gaston's field making love." The police chief smiled and said; "Come, come, Henri you are not so old; remember ze young love, ze spring time, ze air, ze flowers? Ah, L'amour! Zis is okay." "Mais non! You do not understand; ze woman, she is dead!" Hearing this, Jean leapt up from his seat, rushed out of the station, jumped on his bike, pedaled down to the field, confirmed Henri's story, and pedaled all the way back non-stop to call the doctor: "Pierre, Pierre, ... this is Jean, I was in Gaston's field; zere is a young couple naked 'aving sex " . To which Pierre replied,"Jean, I am a man of science. You must remember, it is spring, ze air, ze flowers, Ah, L'amour! Zis is very natural." Jean, still out of breath, grasped in reply, "NON, you do not understand; ze woman, she is dead!" Hearing this, Pierre exclaimed, "Mon dieu!" grabbed his black medicine bag; stuffed in his thermometer, stethoscope, and other tools; jumped in the car; and drove like a madman down to Gaston's field. After carefully examining the participants he drove calmly back to Henri and Jean, who were waiting at the station. He got there, went inside, smiled patiently, and said,"Ah, mes amis, do not worry. Ze woman, she is not dead, she is British"

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH:
1. He never got married.
2. He never held a steady job.
3. His last request was a drink.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN:
1. His first name was Jesus.
2. He was always in trouble with the law.
3.His mother didn't know who his father was.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He worked in the building trades.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK:
1. He called everybody brother.
2. He had no permanent address.
3. Nobody would hire him.

THREE ARGUMENTS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot.
3. He invented a new religion.

AND FINALLY, THE PROOF THAT JESUS WAS LEBANESE:
1. He went into his father's business.
2. He lived at home until the age of 33.
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was God.

At the college, male & female students were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.' Females wrote : When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, then, it is spiritually and morally acceptable to the society that they both engage themselves in the act of physical sex with one another. Men wrote : 'I love sex.'

C'est un Espagnol, un Français et un Italien qui discutent de leurs femmes respectives et de la bêtise qu'on peut en tirer...
Le Français: Ô putain ! moi, ma femme, elle est con, p'tain con... Elle est parti skier, elle a même pas de skis !
L'Italien: Scusi, ma femme, elle est encora plus conne, elle s'est achetée une Ferrari rien que pour faire ses courses, elle a même pas le permis de conduire...
L'Espagnol: He ben, ma femme, hein, elle est vraiment conne, alors ! Elle est partie un mois au Club Med, elle a pris une valise pleine de préservatifs ! Elle a même pas de pénis !!!

Un Espagnol se rend chez le Docteur... "Docteur, je ne sais pas ce que j'ai, quand j'appuie sur mon ventre, j'ai mal, quand j'appuie sur mon genou, j'ai mal, quand j'appuie sur mon nez, j'ai aussi mal... Qu'est-ce que j'ai, Docteur?" "Vous avez le doigt cassé !, Monsieur"